The Socialize Strategy - Dealing with Negativity
Okay, welcome to the socialized strategy. It's another Friday. And I am back with a very special guest today to talk about the topic of the day, which is negativity on social media. And I want to introduce my special guest who is a form a very good friend of mine for many, many years and also a former colleague. Grace McCarrick is a founder, content creator, and speaker with a mission to revolutionize how we approach work.
Helen:And she has spent the last three years making teams more cohesive. And the last year, particularly, she has been debunking Internet myths about about work and talking to meeting with teams like Amazon, Airbnb, Chewy, Abercrombie, and a lot of cool law firms and finance groups because she has made her presence on social media valuable to people, and they have found her. So we're gonna talk about how that all happened. She's got a hundred thousand followers across her socials. She is hyper focused on how soft skill mastery changes the Internet work narrative.
Helen:And that's what I love here because we're gonna marry real life with social media, my one of my favorite things. So Grace and I know each other. Hi, Grace, by the way.
Grace:Ellen. I'm so happy to be here.
Helen:Me too. We worked in the same building on the same floor in real life IRL on 20 Fifth Street in New York City when I had an office space there, and Grace worked at a PR firm next door. So when I go back to Grace before she was even in culture.
Grace:I think that was 2014.
Helen:Was it? Wow. Okay. So it's been been a long time. And we stayed in touch over the years.
Helen:And when I started up with Socialize, I reached out to her because I really wanted to get some thinking going on creating good culture. And, also, my my experience on social media was bringing me a lot of new things that I wasn't ready for because that's not what I was trained for. So, Grace, I want to talk this is today is about you, but I wanna tie it together how we how we come together. And I wanna know how did you start your TikTok? How did it it did it evolve?
Helen:And what type of content are you creating specifically on social media?
Grace:Oh, okay. Well, I think people in your studio, since they're they're really focused on creating good content, will appreciate this. I content is always an evolution. I kind of got into TikTok in 2020, and I got really into, like, lesbian TikTok. I don't know if anyone knows about that.
Grace:It was a huge thing in 2020.
Helen:I remember that.
Grace:Even all these, like, lip sync videos and stuff, and I got maybe 2,000 followers or something. And then I I noticed myself really getting anxious about, did I post this, and did it get views, and did it get likes, and did it get this? So I shut it all down in, like, fall of twenty twenty and then didn't look back. And then when I started my company in 2021, I think around probably around the time, Helen, I started working with you. Mhmm.
Grace:I I picked it back up just to watch and support maybe. And then I started posting about it twenty twenty two ish. I didn't get really serious till the end of twenty twenty three, and it has evolved. I was very much interested in, like, culture and talking to people how to make their teams work better. Now a lot of what I do is debunk the Internet narrative about work.
Grace:I talk about work with my clients. I talk about conversations that come up when I'm talking to people across the corporate spectrum. And it's it's more of, like, a big long thought project now, like a huge body of work. It's really fun.
Helen:Yeah. It is. Like, you can you your work is more evergreen, I think, on the Internet. Whereas I things change and trends change. So a lot of my older content isn't really relevant, and I always say I'm moving forward.
Helen:I'm never really look but your content is very because of the the nature of it and how it's human resources and personality at work and all of those things, that's relevant from back in the day right through. So that's what I love about your content. It's not it's it's very relevant and very timely, and it's not and you're not afraid to be controversial.
Grace:No. It's funny. I feel like, I'm just starting because it's really was last year. This time is when I started blowing up and really, really growing, and that was for everyone's edification when I started posting three videos a day. It was so sorry to
Helen:do that.
Grace:But, I keep getting the memories. TikTok's popping those up to me now, and, there I could repost them. It would be the same exact thing.
Helen:Oh my gosh. See? That's exactly right. Oh, I also wanted to mention that anybody can type in the chat with any questions. When this releases as a podcast, no one is gonna be able to see the questions, so we'll repeat them.
Helen:But if you wanna say anything or or ask us a question where we address it later, we will do that. Okay. Just wanna open up that chat just so you know. You can introduce yourselves in the chat, etcetera. Alright.
Helen:Now so, Grace, when you started, I wanna know this. Were you did you know what you were doing? Like, did you just pick up your phone and start making videos? How did you
Grace:No. I called you, and I said, what am I doing? I don't do you remember this? So I think that I had started posting a couple of videos. I was already working with you, so I was watching what you were doing.
Grace:And I
Helen:Right. Right. That makes sense.
Grace:Was on LinkedIn. So I've been putting a couple of videos on LinkedIn, and I was getting business out of it. And I thought, okay. The kids are all on TikTok. Let me use TikTok as market research, post a couple of videos, see what happens.
Grace:And it was it was very much at the time edutainment, which is the the what I'm in, also what you're in. But different Yeah. Yeah.
Helen:I think so.
Grace:You know, education entertainment was not as specific as it is now, and it wasn't as saturated as it is now. So I thought that I had to have these videos, like, nice lighting and this with music running behind to be, like, here's how you think about your team and this. You know, like a commercial. And I did a couple of those, and I think you started editing them.
Helen:You sent me one.
Grace:Oh, I sent you one.
Helen:You sent me a couple, and I said, let me just send you back something just to give you an idea of what this really should be, which proves that anything can be content. You know, you can send something that's really whatever and I
Grace:Whatever I sent was crazy, so you guys all know. Whatever I sent was like a four minute long ramble. Helen, I I remember you edited it and then you showed me how you did it and you walked me through your thought process, which was the most game changing thing for me. Because I watched you do it, and you went not important, not important. Doesn't takes away from the point, does this.
Grace:Don't do this breed. Don't do this thing. Don't do this thing. And it just helped me forever. It was great.
Helen:I think I scared you at first. You were like, Holly, no. But I think but I It feels overwhelming. Yeah. Because it seems like I can't do this.
Helen:Like, she just knows this because she's done been doing this for thirty five years in her life.
Grace:And I still feel that yeah.
Helen:No. No. Your videos are so tight
Grace:now. Well, now what I do is I have my phone here on my thing Okay. My thumb near the recording thing. So I say the first thing, stop. Breathe.
Grace:Say it again. Good. Stop. So I'm not breathing. I'm not like, it it's as if I've edited it tightly, but I'm doing it while I'm
Helen:It's live editing. Yeah. And a lot of times people think that they can do that, and they don't do the timing quite so right. Like, it's the reach. It's the reach.
Helen:It's and I mean, I remember, at some point, your videos had a lot of, because you were stopping. And then you kind of figured out that if I keep my thumb here, I can do it without reaching. You know? And that's that's all a learning curve. Like, those are the kind of things where and even in the studio, what I'm trying to do now when I talk to people about their account, I'll be like, you could do this better, and you gotta take off the beginning here.
Helen:Like, I'm trying to give that kind of advice so that ease you know, slowly, the content improves. And you'd picked it up like, man, you got it.
Grace:But none of it happens overnight.
Helen:No. None of it happens overnight. We know.
Grace:And I think, as your studio people probably realize, the faster the people who move faster are the people who have support of education, who have accountability, and who have camaraderie in it, other people doing the same things. So I never had to do this without you, and I wouldn't want to.
Helen:Oh, I see.
Grace:Awe. You know?
Helen:Yes.
Grace:Like, for my own studio.
Helen:Okay. Yay. That's that's the benefit of being a friend of the mothership.
Grace:Yeah. Oh, huge silver lining. And then all the way through, I mean, even to our point today, my first set of negative comments, I think I did a three way call with you and Julie. And I was like
Helen:Oh, god.
Grace:What are we gonna do about this?
Helen:What are we doing? Because you had alright. So let's talk about some of the negativity you get because I don't hit I don't get it as much because of the nature of my content. But you're speaking about controversial topics at work, how you feel about work from home, for example. That's, like, such a buzz topic for the Gen z.
Helen:You know, that whole that whole workspace has changed. And so I love when you go there because I'm like, yikes. She's gonna get attacked. So tell us about your negativity, what it what it what it looks like, and what you do about it.
Grace:Well, I am speaking in a space that people feel very strongly about. And something that has evolved for me I think my dad said this to me. My family is super supportive of my online version of my career, which is nice because not Thank
Helen:god.
Grace:My dad says something to me, I I wanna say, like, seven months ago where he goes, I've been watching your stuff the last three weeks, and I feel like you all of a sudden just became you on there. Like, it's all of a sudden now you. And it's so.
Helen:Oh, that's so amazing. What a great thing.
Grace:And that's but but for everyone, you know, that's almost two years in.
Helen:Years. Yes.
Grace:So, I was really afraid to say stuff because it also, when I started on TikTok, you what you need to do when you start anywhere in a in work or in a new platform, you have to understand what's going on. And what I saw was a lot of tippy tippy tippy toeing around, I don't well, I'm gonna say this, but let me make an exception for these people and these people and these people, and I'm gonna do this and I'm gonna do that. And it was so everyone was hedging everything they said.
Helen:Uh-huh.
Grace:Hedging everything they said so as not to cause offense. And I felt like, well, no one's saying anything because they're too busy hedging everything. And people are not paying attention for long enough for me to hedge everything.
Helen:Mhmm.
Grace:And, also, I just don't I'm not gonna be worried about offending these I'm not I'm not talking about people personally. I'm talking about work concepts. So I did start to get really bold, and then it just became second nature. And and, you know, whatever that has I'd say my first viral video was a hate viral.
Helen:Oh, yeah. Yeah. Well, that that would happen to you. I'm like, of course, like, our first video was hate.
Grace:It was.
Helen:My first viral video was like apple pie. Like, who's complaining about that? Right. It was like, we love you, you know? So it's like positive energy.
Helen:It's awful when it's the opposite awful.
Grace:It is. You know what? It was such a good learning experience. And I went through and I thought I signed up for this. Like, I don't have any I never had any for so I'm 35, so I'm not doing this at 22.
Grace:I never had any naivete about what was gonna happen. It's jarring. I won't say it's not jarring. But I sat down with those, you know, what might have been 2,000 comments. I think the first viral video was re me responding to corporate Natalie eight AM meeting thing that was a huge fiasco on the Internet.
Helen:I remember that.
Grace:Yeah. Last year. So I sat down. I took my notebook. I took TikTok, and I made, like, lines across the paper.
Grace:And I went, okay. What are what are these comments? I started scrolling through and say, okay. Theme of this comment is, you're an asshole or whatever. But if you theme theme of this comment was, okay.
Grace:No. We can't do this. We can't go to ADA meetings because this. Or theme of this comment is corporate whatever. So for the first couple months when I had a lot of negative comments, what I would try and do is understand the themes that people were talking about.
Grace:And so, of course, I took myself out of it. And then I was trying to say, like, what are the arguments I'm up against here? And then that shaped how I continue to make my content. So I made it work for me.
Helen:Okay. So now let let me just back up a little bit because you said, okay. You have all these hateful comments. But do you remember even before this when I had I think I had a couple of comments, and I was like, Grace. Oh my god.
Helen:And it might have been the first beginnings of me getting a couple of negative comments. No.
Grace:Do you remember what it was? You were on a hot mess talking to someone, and the person was like, I'm gonna ask you about negative comments and and you were like and you had just started to get your first ones. And I remember we talked after the podcast, and
Helen:I was like, oh, I don't remember this. Go ahead. Tell me.
Grace:Why even I'll tell you after who it was. I'm like, how why do you go into it? Well, I'm like, why why do you even care? Like, why even talk about it?
Helen:Oh, yes. See, that's what you said. I remember that advice. Year and
Grace:a half, though, I think before I
Helen:Yeah. Yeah. Get them. Yes. For sure.
Helen:And you were like, what what do you care? That is nothing to you. That's what I remember you telling me that, like, do not give that any attention that you do not need to pay attention to that. And I was like, oh, and it was like the one thing that was just, like, eating at me from the thing.
Grace:And I
Helen:was just like, so airtime. Right. Don't give it airtime. And so that started me thinking, okay, I'm not giving it airtime. So that's how I started to blanket approach my negative comments.
Helen:But then you come along now you start getting your negative comments. Right?
Grace:And I do believe the first thing that I called you on, I said, Helen, I eat my words. This is living free in my head.
Helen:Exactly. Yeah. Because it it gets to you, you know? But then you have taken approach of the approach of, like, you're using those comments to actually make more content because it makes a difference to you because some of these opinions are the opinions of people in the corporate workspace, and that's what you're talking about.
Grace:Well, it's really yes. It's really interesting. I do that. I think I'll shape that point a tiny bit. Okay.
Grace:Social media has created a really strong narrative about work that is running through, everyone's workforce experience, whether you are on social media or not. Because it is it is really strong in the young people. It's really strong in new employees. And it's really strong in people who are just, in general, a little bit, like, less self assured, more gullible, more, more into the Internet, more more unhappy, whatever it is. So there's these pockets of people where this narrative about work is incredibly strong.
Grace:Mhmm. And what it does, there's a lot of people who work remote post like, COVID really wrecked us on this a little bit. Like, live in these very insular worlds and focus a lot on the two d. And so it's created these Internet behaviors, I call them, this, like, pocket of behaviors that people think are really appropriate and they are not. And I'll I'll give you an example.
Grace:I I'm sure every single person on this chat who makes content could understand. And I think Louise just said something she that she yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Helen:She had 2,000 comments that are negative, and she's like, how can I use them? But she just had to stop the comments because it was too much.
Grace:Out, and I need to attract a lot of anti science commenters.
Helen:That's so crazy.
Grace:Well, okay, Louise. Well, you'll you'll hear how I talk about this. So, basically, what I'm seeing in the comments is stuff that I'm getting hired to try and help correct in workplaces. So I've decided at some point, well, why would I not just start correcting it in my comments? Why not just start speaking to it in my comments?
Grace:And so I started to use that as a way to sharpen my point to test out how to articulate things right because I'm not not gonna get it right the first time necessarily.
Helen:Mhmm.
Grace:And then to illustrate how wrong, some of this stuff is. So yeah. Go ahead.
Helen:I have to just ask you this because the buckets of negativity, how you did the lines on paper and you said, okay. These comments were asshole. These comments were just negative workspace, whatever the things are. So how can you categorize the type I mean, I'm talking like a overarching because I I look at it like, well, you have the personal attack, which, like, what are you gonna do about that when someone says to me, your leg what's wrong with your legs? I'm like, my legs.
Helen:You know, that's to me like a personal attack. I'm not even given that attention. There's content attack. Like, what are your buckets of of content? Like, do you have
Grace:I always laugh. Like, if I have something go for people listening, I'm doing, like, a big explosion. I have something really far. I have maybe, I don't know, thirty, thirty five videos out of a thousand over over a hundred thousand views. So if I have something, go really big.
Grace:I start to get comments about my hairline. People are like,
Helen:and you're just Yes. Yes.
Grace:So, I the personal attacks are actually they don't they're not that often, I would say. The it's it the the it's like the personal attack on my credibility is what happens more. So, like, physical personal attacks are very, very rare. But I do get a lot of stuff about my voice, vocal fry. I don't know if anyone else gets that.
Grace:It is, like, the the professional sort of credibility personal attacks that come. I had one video that made people really unhappy where they've started looking at my house and my school and stuff like that. Every once in a while when I something pops off, people will go to my LinkedIn and then start quoting stuff back and try you know? But, generally, it is just trying to break down the point or to make an alternative point that they think is more important.
Helen:Yes. Yes. Yes. So I'm gonna just chat with what Louise is because in the chat, Louise is saying that she had an an attracted a bunch of anti science commenters, and she wants to use the comments to really almost, like, educate. But so, she's waving and pausing and thinking it through, which I think is a good thing.
Helen:Like, if you need jerk reaction on something, sometimes you cause yourself more headache. But if you but the other part of it when you have a viral video is to start replying to the comments in a timely manner so that you're hopping on the engagement of that video. And so, Grace, do you see, like, when you have a video that's hot, it's like, let me grab a couple of the top comments. I always do. To them right away because, yeah, if you do it more more quickly, you tend to have you're kind of in the momentum of that topic.
Helen:And
Grace:Here's what I do here's what I do, though. I have, and I Louise, if you could link us this video so we could take a look at it, just it would be interesting. I've been getting 67,000 negative comments on me putting on red lipstick.
Helen:Oh, interesting. Oh, Amber, I've seen yours. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Helen:You gotta stop responding to those. That's a whole different animal. I mean, I'm gonna say that's what one thing I didn't wanna say about today because that's more that gets into political. And I don't wanna get into that on this podcast because it's just because it's so terrifying when you see what's happening in the political landscape and how opposed everyone is, and they're coming at people for it. But, you
Grace:know, what's interesting, Helen, is, like, I'll get what I was talking about where people tiptoe around, people will come into my comments and say, but this doesn't work for black or Hispanic women or this doesn't they really hit on those touchy topics, and I shut it down like a the I I I'm harsh, fast.
Helen:But you're but you're making a video response or you're commenting back.
Grace:Either commenting or making a video response.
Helen:Okay. Okay.
Grace:Because you
Helen:can comment back. Yeah. Immediately.
Grace:Yeah. I wait. What did what did I wanna say to Louise? Okay. I do I have an archetype that I so this is like a leadership technique.
Grace:I also teach this in my workshops. I have an archetype that I think of when I'm angry and responding to comments. It's this character from Killing Eve. I don't know if you've ever seen it, but, basically, the the character, this woman's name is Carolyn. She's very cool, calm, and composed.
Grace:And so she's never she's never doing like, my go to archetype, and I know this, is when I'm mad, I'm Regina from Mean Girls. I'm like, you're a you're a homeschool jungle freak. You know? Like, I I I so this other woman
Helen:something mean. Yeah.
Grace:Yeah. I just drop into her, and then I start responding. So that's that's a really helpful for me that I don't think a lot of people think about.
Helen:Alright. So, Grace, you know, that's in the chat there. But, again, this is a podcast, so people are not being able to click and watch and do right now. So I wanna table that for a minute and just stay on the points. And then towards the end, we'll we'll you can click on that when I'm talking, and then you can take a look at it and comment.
Helen:Okay? I think that'll be helpful. Because I wanna make sure we're doing covering all the angles of the topic that I wanna make sure before we end this. So alright. So we have negativity personal attack.
Helen:We have negativity, to the concept of the the video itself. And so
Grace:Negativity credibility.
Helen:Yes. Negativity credibility. Then you have, like, a disagreement of, I guess, a disagreement of opinions, which then this is where what I wanna get to because I this is what prompted me to invite you here today. You had a LinkedIn post, and it was I know it was a TikTok, but I happen to see it on LinkedIn. And you said, when someone comes into your comment section and has a very strong opinion about something, they are now using and you said to this point you commented back to this person and said, make a video about it.
Helen:Like, it it's not right for this person to think that they can use your space, come into your house, and now get they're gonna tout their, you know, thoughts that disagree with yours because that's the only way they can get attention. Talk to me about that because that was the game changing thing that happened this week that made me bring you here. I was like, oh my god. That's so smart.
Grace:It is. I think that content creators have been held hostage for a long time by trying to feeling like they're obliged to listen, to be nice, to engage, to leave comments up. Like, there's something about authenticity that wraps around this. Like and and I've been watching this and going, not for me. Not for me.
Grace:So, basically, what happens for me a lot of times is I'll make some point about corporate, about work, about the workforce, whatever. What happened specifically was this is one person, and this happens all the time, came in and said, all well and good. If you're a re what what if you're a a Ukrainian soldier, nineteen years old, in the trenches? Like, something like that. People do this all the time.
Grace:All well and good, but what if I'm what if I'm a disabled minority? What if I'm the I go, it are you that? Are you that? If you're not that, then shut up. This isn't this isn't your battle to wage.
Grace:And so what happens is people come in. I get a lot of attention, so they wanna use that attention because they want this is what happens is people want the likes. They want people to pay attention and listen to them. That's just a very human thing. But I don't feel that I have to entertain every comment.
Grace:And I don't this this this content creators are I mean, you will start to get pushback if you find yourself not doing this. Like, people will be you have to let a disagreement happen. No. I don't.
Helen:No. It's your house. Don't. You can let people leave.
Grace:I built it.
Helen:You may leave.
Grace:You don't have to. Like, it's you know, what what I find the most interesting is that people come in, and I I often think of this as, like, this is my living room, and you're literally in my office most of the time. This is my living room. I've opened myself up to have this conversation with you to whoever wants to come have the conversation. It's as though someone comes running in your front door into your living room and goes, this is so stupid.
Grace:This is the argument you should be having. Why would you entertain that? That person would leave your house. You have that person leave your so I don't know why we're entertaining things in two d that we wouldn't in three d.
Helen:That's exactly what I always say. But I will add to that people will argue that, well, you put it on the Internet or you put it on social media, so you should so you are inviting it. You know what I mean? It's like, but then we can talk about a lot
Grace:of people. True. And I am inviting it. I'm looking for engagement. I'm hooking in a way that I want engagement.
Grace:But that also doesn't mean that I have to entertain everything.
Helen:Yeah. You don't
Grace:I don't have to answer everyone. It was
Helen:so freeing to see it. You know? When you said it, I was just like, Oh, my God, this is so great. Because someone had recently, and it was such a minor thing. But it was I made a video about camera angles.
Helen:And a lot of people like, Oh, my God, I never even thought about that when I'm watching videos. And I was just educating. I was like, Did you know that your camera angle can actually tell your viewers something subconsciously that you don't even know you're doing? It was like, I thought I'm teaching people something that they probably will be like, oh my goodness. Oh, yes.
Helen:I had people come in and say, oh, you're ridiculous. Like, it's all about the content. You shouldn't don't you shouldn't, jade people about how they should look at content based on. Are you do you just wanna put your head in the sand and not learn about life, about anything? This was just purely like you might subliminally be telling somebody something that you don't mean to be, so I'm trying to help you out.
Helen:And that was like when that comment came in, and then I saw your LinkedIn posts because I and I just wanted to go, and then I realized, you know, I'm not even gonna give her attention. I think I wrote something. I showed you the response. I said, you can think about it as, I think about it as enlightening. I said something like that.
Helen:Not you know? I forgot what the commenter was weird.
Grace:So nice.
Helen:I did it. I was nice.
Grace:I feel I feel when people come in rude, and what happens to me is that people come in rude, I respond rude, or I respond with a video sharp. And they're so offended. They're so affronted. And I think part of it is that that people and this is the Internet page. By the way, this shows up in work.
Grace:I'm dealing with this with executives and managers and work all the time. People didn't judge their tone accurately and or they didn't think you were going to see it. So they thought they were yelling into the void. And we have to stop doing that. Right.
Grace:It's not it's not going to happen on my platform.
Helen:Right. Right. That makes sense. I think it's funny too, because I always say, like, when I I've gone snarky back to somebody that makes a snarky comment, and then they go, oh, my gosh. I didn't mean it that way.
Helen:And then I'm like, oh, shoot. I read a tone into it. So that was my interpretation of something that wasn't right. And that's why I tend to do I take the nice approach first, and I'll just be like, oh, you know, not for you. Totally okay.
Helen:I'm just telling you as a professional, and I'm doing this thirty five years, and PS, read the room. Because I see the people and the other rest of the people in the comments were, like, just grateful that I shared this. You know?
Grace:Well, it's Read the room. Yeah. Well, that's the thing is I don't I don't assume good intent. And I wanna say to people,
Helen:I don't You don't assume good intent. And I try to now even though, you know, like, some things don't read well.
Grace:I'm I'd be so interested to look at your metric. I'm at 50,000,000 impressions since last year, over 55,000 comment. Like, you start it's like a job where you start to see huge swaths of people. I I'm very jaded. Like, I I don't, when people come in nasty, I I don't care if you didn't mean it nasty.
Grace:You're now gonna learn this. Right. You're gonna you're gonna be embarrassed, and you're gonna learn.
Helen:I like that. I like that. And I like the way your approach is just very, like, honest. And then you come back and then it's like, I don't you don't even care if they get pissed, which is another thing. Like, I have been forever a people pleaser and I have learned thank God for social media.
Helen:Because now I'm not as much of a people pleaser. I still am. I know that's my nature to be like, isn't everybody happy here? You know, let's all get along. But I also be like I also have this other side of me now that I didn't have before, which is if you don't like what I'm saying, please just leave.
Helen:I don't care. You don't have to like me. I don't care. That feels so freeing. And I remember when it clicked, and it was, like, about a year ago on my account.
Helen:So I was like, oh my god. This is, like, the best thing ever. And then I started doing the speaking things, things, which I would have been so nervous about. So it all came to fruition that it's, like, confidence in my own skin and belief in what I'm saying and really not caring about the haters. And any I I really don't.
Helen:And I guess if some if I had thousands and thousands of hate comments, I might have a regroup on this, and maybe we have to.
Grace:I I do think you like, I am jaded by it, certainly. But you do learn you do first of all, my confidence has never been higher in my entire life, like, through through, you get a lot of resilience doing this. But I I I do I wanna say from a blanket statement, so who like, who's ever on the studio, whoever has, you know, kids or we are ruining our young people by letting this behavior go unchecked.
Helen:Truly. Because they think they can say anything at any time. They're behind a screen. You know?
Grace:They're I you know, they're getting fired consistently because of Slack. I actually had someone I'm curious what you think about this, Helen. So I had a follower tag me in someone's video, and this person has 6,000 plus followers. That's, like, lifestyle content young.
Helen:Mhmm.
Grace:And she was doing a video saying, I'm four months into this new team. And I, I everyone's just so obsessed with working so hard, and they hate me because I I just don't believe in working after Friday and stuff like that. So doing this and someone tag and that's very much on my will. So someone tag me. And she was basically saying, like, they hate me even though I do my job.
Grace:And what I was saying was there's there's two parts to your job. One part is doing the work. The other part is making sure people perceive you to be doing the work. Oh, okay. Interesting.
Grace:Any human interaction. And she messaged me, and that only got I think I only by even by this morning, only got five k views. Like, it it didn't. But it was a great point, and there's great comments in there. I use my comments for everything, so I like stacking good comments.
Grace:And, she messaged me and said, can you please take it down? Oh. She said something like, I was just venting, and I just do this for fun. And can you just please take it down?
Helen:Wow. And I didn't So what did you do? You didn't take it down. Right? Yeah.
Helen:Did you just ignore the comment?
Grace:I have ignored it. I haven't decided. No. It's a it's a message or DM.
Helen:Oh, a message. Right?
Grace:And I don't always see my DMs for what it's worth. Like
Helen:Yeah. They come into the they go into the request thing, and I have to go through it once a week, so it's hard.
Grace:But my assistant has been checking them for me, so I see more now. But I thought, you know what? This is this is good learning for her. She she first of all, she's had several videos go viral, over 50,000, and she only has 6,000 followers. She's not immune to this.
Grace:I think what happened was she got a response she didn't expect. Mhmm. And that is unfortunately, that's life. Like Right. Why why am I gonna pay the price price for you?
Grace:Now she was like, my boss saw it. Whatever. Okay. I don't want something to be harmful, but at the same time, there's this there's this harshness and this weakness in this social media behavior that I can't stand
Helen:this Right. Because now she's gonna think just because she messaged you, you're gonna take that down, but then there's no consequence for her leaving that message in the first place. There's a weird that's a weird thing. I get it. I get it.
Helen:I do get it. Have you
Grace:ever had anyone ask you to take something down?
Helen:No. I have not yet. I no. But but mainly, I don't because I don't make the kind of content like anybody would ask me to take down. I've considered taking something down for two reasons in my life when when I had a video that was ridiculously misinterpreted when I had a little drone video and it was in front of me in the park here, and I got so much hate that there's a Reddit thread.
Helen:Okay? That was really crazy. And I thought, god. And people have I mean, this boomer so entitled, blah, blah, blah. They even knew me.
Helen:Like, I'm I'm, like, stepping over things so other people I'm not in someone's way. You know what I mean? I'm hardly that person. So crazy. So that I almost considered taking that down because I'm like, is this, like, even worth me having out there?
Helen:But the more the comments came in, the more I was like resolved to just say, you know what? I, if that's what they think, like, they don't know me. It's not gonna phase me because I know me. And I know how kind I was to that lady that almost walked into the drone that I was like, oh, oh, oh. And then we both had a chuckle about it.
Helen:So I'm like, if that's gonna be misinterpreted, oh, well. That's when I got into my oh, well phase. You know? That was that one.
Grace:I love that phase. I think when people are people can people put in the comments, like, what is your general engagement like? Because what here's an interesting stat that might be helpful. 1% of people post on TikTok. 9% of people engage, like, comment, share.
Grace:90% of people just watch. So when Wow. Goes
Helen:I didn't know that.
Grace:Like Helen's drone thing, what you're look what you you're mostly looking at is a vocal minority.
Helen:Right. Vocal minority. But what I'm looking at is the people watching it become the minority, and that's what I feel like are they gonna be be, impacted by this. So
Grace:Well, that's why I
Helen:But I
Grace:people around in my comments, which is I don't want the 90 of people watching my videos to go to my comments and think that these attitudes
Helen:Give that attention. Yeah. Give that attention. That's that's terrible, and that's annoying. Yeah.
Helen:So I didn't take the video down still to this day, and the Reddit thread still exists out there in the universe. But I think it's part of my experience, and I am I'm okay with it. It also taught me how quickly things come and go. So and sometimes I I use this reference, which I know is maybe a stupid reference, but Will Smith, remember? He slaps someone in the face on stage.
Helen:He's still making movies. He's still like, it moved it all moved on into the past. You know, it's it happened to him. And I'm sure there's a lot of people like me who will never forget that nonsense. Like, how do you do that?
Helen:What kind of human are you? But there's so many people just go, oh, right. Yeah. Will Smith. But they're still watching his movies, and they don't they're holding it against him, let me just say.
Helen:So I think the same thing with social media, like, it's always moving, just like Blake Lively. So one day we're not even gonna be talking about that. Oh, yeah. Remember when that happened to her? Yeah.
Helen:It's just temporary. But when we're in that temporary state, it is so overwhelming. And so it seems like the only thing. And so
Grace:Also, what I will say is, like, I just had one of my first really viral Instagram videos about remote work and whatever. And there's people in the comments calling me Diddy. I mean, people are really incentivized. But anyway anyway, what I will say is I have moments where something's going viral in a in a crazy negative way, and I people talk to me about my content all day long. People are out, whatever.
Helen:In life. Yeah. In your life.
Grace:I feel very sensitive in that I feel like I'm naked on display for everyone to see me. So when people are talking to me in real life, I'm like, oh, yeah. It's not in a great moment right now. Let me tell you. No one knows.
Grace:When when's even if something's blowing up for you, like, I had something go really negative a couple weeks ago, and a friend was asking me about the video, said something. And I said, well, yeah. I mean, whatever. She was like, I don't I didn't even look at the comments. I just liked it and moves past.
Grace:You know, people aren't looking, and that's what we're
Helen:looking at. Looking at the way we're looking at it. I always say that. I always say that people are not looking at it the way we are obsessing over it. In the same way, I'm going to say this because I just talked to somebody who had a big, like a video blow up and was one of my private one on ones.
Helen:And she was like, oh, I had this, this, so many views, blah, blah, blah. And she's like, do I have to reply to every comment? And this is exactly what I said to her. And I know you're shaking your head, but let me just say, when people first have that viral video, right, they think they have to reply. They think everybody's waiting for a reply to their comment.
Helen:But I want you to, like, put yourself on the commenter side. You're sitting there, you're scrolling, you comment on a video. Do you expect that person to comment back? Like you're scrolling to the next video, you're commenting, next video, maybe you're liking, maybe then you're commenting. On the viewer side, those people forget they left a comment like a minute after they leave it.
Helen:They're not waiting and thinking two days later, oh my god, the mothership never responded to my comment. You know what I mean? That's what people have to understand. When you have that viral moment and you think everybody's waiting, they're all like outside your door. They're not.
Helen:They are down the block. They're, like, running to the next person's video, especially people that make negative comments. They're dropping them, like, you know, right and left. So right?
Grace:Sometimes they're really heinous comments. I'll click on the person's profile, and in their bio, they'll be like, if you came here from a comment, blah blah blah. You know, the the Oh, I mean their whole personality.
Helen:That's their whole personality.
Grace:Ew. Dang. So gross. Yeah.
Helen:Alright. Now before if I wanna say if anybody has questions now, specifically, put them in the chat. But the next thing I wanted to talk about, because I think this is important, and it's certainly important to me because I'm trying to figure out how to leverage my, my TikTok content where I get I do get work from it, and you do too. But you have managed to bridge the gap to LinkedIn. And I would love to take a minute and talk about how you do that.
Helen:Was there strategic thinking behind it? Was it just like hunt and peck, throw shit up there, see what happens, and then all of a sudden you figured it out? How did you make that bridge so that now you're getting very good engagement on LinkedIn and you potentially work from that. Right? Do you get work from LinkedIn too?
Helen:From I
Grace:get more from TikTok.
Helen:Interesting. I
Grace:get most of my work from TikTok.
Helen:Oh, same as me. Same as me. But then I'm not working on LinkedIn at all. Like, I'm not doing it to work over there. I'm not putting up time in.
Grace:LinkedIn is where I started. And so if I
Helen:possible when it's corporate culture stuff. Like, why aren't people on in LinkedIn paying attention to you? What?
Grace:I get a lot I mean, just then I have currently 2,000 connection requests sitting there. Like, LinkedIn's a little bit overwhelming for me right now.
Helen:Wow. And you
Grace:can't do the you can't so there probably is there probably is easier business, but what happens on what happens on TikTok is someone will DM me and say, hey. I'm VP of marketing at x company. Hey. I'm chief comms officer at x company. Can you come talk to my team?
Grace:Like, email, whatever. And then that I just send that through to my assistant, and, like, then we get that set up really quickly. If someone's trying to, like, ease their way in on LinkedIn with a connect request and stuff, it's just not gonna happen for me. Anyway, so LinkedIn, here's what I will say about LinkedIn. LinkedIn is not and and let me just give you a couple of pieces of background.
Grace:So I've been using it actively since 2021. I have a friend who's on the inside. I'm also part of and unrelated to him, I'm part of, like, LinkedIn special content creator groups
Helen:where Oh.
Grace:Feed me things, and then they promote my thing in LinkedIn news, and you get you get in special workshops and stuff like that. And you're not getting work from that? Helen, here's the thing about LinkedIn. LinkedIn does not care about creators. LinkedIn cares about companies.
Grace:And this is this is where creators are always gonna have trouble on LinkedIn is because LinkedIn is not they are not optimizing their platform for creators. They're optimizing it for big companies. So for example, some inside info, people with the top top, like, voice badges are almost always inside in a company that's paying advertising dollars. Oh. Okay?
Grace:Okay. Really hard for a random one off person to get that. Oh. But LinkedIn doesn't. LinkedIn wants to have good content, but they haven't yet crossed the divide between figuring out how to actually, like TikTok does, reward good content creators.
Grace:That aside so so know that. You have to know that. That Okay. Not a platform that's gonna be friendly to you. That aside, there are ways to play with it.
Grace:Like, it's loving video. It's been loving video for the last eight months. And what that means is you get kinda pushed into a current that that falsely jumps your views, which is to say Okay. If I had something get 3,000 review views and 10 comments before, now in the video channel, I'll get 30,000 views in the same 10 comments. So so it kinda does that.
Grace:Mhmm.
Helen:I think my yeah. I think my concern well, I guess my thing on LinkedIn is like okay. Let me see if I can say this. So I get all my opportunities from TikTok. Like, I will get speaking engagements.
Helen:Person reaches out to me, next thing I know, I'm flying to Tampa. Person reaches out to me, next thing I know, I'm flying to Croatia to shoot TikToks for a thing. But I feel that there that I have the value that I'm doing on the video production workshops or shooting TikToks for big brands, that has value that should be recognized on LinkedIn by a lot of companies who are trying to figure that out and find that piece. But I can't seem to reach those people over there. So, I mean, I
Grace:I also took a LinkedIn course. I I I think, Helen, you might fall in the same bucket as me and that you're so good at top of funnel. And and top of funnel for anyone who's, like, top of funnel is when you're marketing or selling a product. It's like all the people who are just standing around looking like like, when someone's playing music, you know, in the street and all the people who start to gather just to be a little intrigued, that's your top of funnel. The people who come closer, middle funnel, people who drop money in the bucket, that's that's your conversion.
Helen:My god. That's a great that's a great analogy.
Grace:So you are very good at getting people, like, intrigued and coming in. Most people
Helen:are
Grace:not good at that. LinkedIn, all the courses, all the people who are really good at selling on LinkedIn, they aren't good at top of funnel. They're good at bottom of funnel. They're good at, like, taking that one piece of interest and converting it. So you and I have that in common.
Grace:Here's what I will say about LinkedIn for anyone on here who wants to convert. There are huge ebbs and flows. So if I show you my metrics right now, I would say since June, I get about a 2,000,000 views a week on LinkedIn. Right now, I'm at 30,000 views a week.
Helen:Oh, wow.
Grace:LinkedIn just ebbs and flows a lot, and people get really hung up. This is when I start to see people, like, tweaking out and writing comment about, I don't know what's going on, and this is what's like, don't do it. Don't do that. Just keep calm. Just keep calm.
Grace:Keep moving forward.
Helen:Well, people do that on TikTok too. Oh, the views are so bad. Blah blah blah. Like, I just
Grace:keep on
Helen:going. I just keep on going. Like, whatever. Just post something else. Whatever.
Grace:Also, no one wants to see your paid content. It's not interesting.
Helen:It it make you
Grace:look dramatic. Yeah. So I think the my best strategy on LinkedIn has been taking what has worked on TikTok. So if I'm post I you know, posting 12 videos in a couple days on TikTok, I'm gonna pick one a day that did pretty well on LinkedIn and put it to LinkedIn. Okay.
Grace:That's that's been my strategy for the most part.
Helen:Okay. Alright. Fair enough. Alright. So now let's just get back to negativity things because I wanna I don't wanna go totally off the topic, and you can read in the chat.
Helen:But some of the things that I wanted to just make sure we cover is if you could take each bucket and say, okay, personal attack, do you respond? Do you ignore? Do you block? Content, content content attack, do you, you know, just like let's do an overarching what the buckets are and what the best case response would be, also depending on who you are. So it's like being if someone if it's some if you're a person like me, it's like, I don't care if someone disagrees with my camera angle thing.
Helen:Like, whatever, I'm a professional and this is my opinion, so I'm not gonna really give that attention. But if they ask me something that's important and they they try or they try and say, actually, that doesn't work if you don't put a microphone, blah, blah, blah. Then I might say, actually, it does work. I might just wanna educate. You know?
Helen:Okay. Alright. So let's see.
Grace:Can we know off the top of the head what your, what your group what what are people's mostly
Helen:like? Oh, that the people that are What kind of Oh, boy. It's all over the map. So we have menopause content, lifestyle content. We have just irreverent like, like sort of fashion cleanse content.
Helen:Let me see. I'm looking here, Glenda. We have a photo booth. We have dog content. That's who I'm recognizing quickly in the chat here.
Grace:Okay. Cool. Okay. So so Makeup tips.
Helen:I see makeup tips. A lot of makeup tips.
Grace:Okay. So a lot of, like, candle, a lot of business to customer b to c.
Helen:Good. Candle. Good. Let's let's put them in the chat. That way in case if I don't know, we can get some of your.
Helen:Alright. So communication, AI. Oh, hi, Maria. Maria, AI tech. It's funny, but I don't remember last names, but I immediately know who you are.
Grace:Career.
Helen:Academia. Oh, cool. So that's why you're getting those that kind of that kind of negative and anti science comments.
Grace:Yeah. The entertainment content that leans more heavily into education is gonna it's gonna be like me. You're just gonna get you're gonna get more stuff. Okay. So we're looking at personal attack, content attack, and just plain disagreement.
Helen:Yes.
Grace:How do
Helen:I Let's take those three.
Grace:Okay. Let me go plain Best advice.
Helen:Yeah. Okay. Go ahead. Plain disagreement. Start there.
Helen:I was gonna say start personal attack. What should should I respond to the person who said something about my legs? Absolutely no. Yeah. Oh.
Grace:Let me think. Let me do the other one. Okay.
Helen:Okay. Do the other one. Sorry.
Grace:Agreement. Disagreement, it depends. I actually feel I don't know if this is gonna be surprising given everything else I feel. If someone wants to come in and disagree, it for for a lot of specific cases of disagreement, sometimes if I think if there's if I think their argument's stupid, I'm gonna respond to them. If if I just see them disagreeing and I don't feel called to respond to them, I just leave it.
Grace:I think you're you're you're perfectly welcome to come in here and disagree. Some someone's like, oh, I don't agree with this. I would totally just leave it. I don't care. Okay.
Grace:So disagreement. Now disagreement bucket underneath that is trying to take the conversation in a different direction. Now that I Okay. Stand for. So the ad Okay.
Grace:All out do that. Okay. Content attack, and that's different than disagreement. Right? That's being
Helen:like It's a little bit different just because they're just name. Yes. Just, like, attacking attacking the idea of your content, not necessarily just a a, educational disagreement. You know?
Grace:I answer probably all of those.
Helen:Okay. Oh, wow. You go, girl.
Grace:Yeah. I answer a lot of those. I answer those more than I answer the nice comments. Okay. Part of that to me is, I just it it's really helpful to, like, sharpen my own tool.
Grace:Okay.
Helen:Good. Because that's and then I'm gonna do I'm gonna do what how I respond after you do your three. Go ahead. This is so funny.
Grace:And then personal attack, people okay. If people are talk if, like, the hair thing, I never sent that because who fucking cares what that person thinks about my hair? If someone starts going, oh, they're like, you're just a fake content creator business, like, that kind of personal attack. I do I think to someone someone said something like, you just sit in your house all day and make videos. I said, actually, that's not my day job.
Grace:But if it was, I'd still make more money than you. So, yeah, I guess I I in terms of most respond to content attack, then personal attack, then
Helen:Oh, then disagreement. Oh my god. Okay. So now I'm gonna do mine, and I'm gonna go I'm gonna go in the opposite order. But for me, personal attack, I will tend to, this is funny.
Helen:My response is always, like, pretend I misunderstood it and go, oh, my gosh. Thank you for the compliment. Or I purposely make that person feel like they're the idiot. Like, I want them to feel like that's because the thing with the legs, like, what's wrong with your legs? I wrote back, I don't know if there's something wrong with my legs.
Helen:They take me everywhere I need to go. Like, I did a funny reply. So I will tend to be I kind of like I don't ever make a video reply. This is a written reply. I would never I rarely make a video reply to anything negative.
Helen:Rarely. And you have the opposite.
Grace:People hate that.
Helen:What? What do you mean?
Grace:People hate it.
Helen:When you make a video
Grace:reply. I had someone I my latest video reply, someone sent her her sister in to start calling me a bully and calling me an asshole.
Helen:Yeah. Oh my god. Alright. Well, I rarely reply with video unless it's gonna teach somebody something. And I and it's usually a positive thing.
Helen:Because number one, I don't like to give any negative idiot my platform. I don't want their name up on my screen. So if I also wanna use the comment, I will block out the name. And I will not do it as a reply. I will screenshot the comment, put it up there, block out the name.
Helen:And then that way, the person doesn't even get the benefit of having any attention or any clicks on their content. So it's like, I don't know. Karma's a bitch because I'm not giving it to them. Okay. So there is that.
Helen:But the personal attack, I love to misunderstand that on purpose. Like, oh my god. Thank you so much. Like, I think that's the funniest thing ever because I'm like, that person I know is reading the comment. Like, she's so dumb.
Helen:She doesn't even know that was negative. And I'm like, let them think they want what they wanna think. I love that.
Grace:I love that.
Helen:I love that. And then content attack itself. Itself like well there will be people who might say oh like we really needed to know this like oh people didn't oh like we needed a video to teach this sometimes like a simple when I do a simple duet thing I get like really because like a young person comes in and thinks like nobody needs to learn. So those I just go hey, nice to see you. Read the room.
Helen:Because you could see in the comments, everybody's saying, thank you so much for this video.
Grace:Oh, I love that response.
Helen:Thank you so much. Read the room. Because, really, they don't even everybody else in the comments is, like, grateful for the content except for this one loser who happens to know how to do a duet. So so sometimes for content attacks, I, like, make sure they know that the other people there don't feel that way. And that's my thing.
Helen:And then I just move on. And that's and it's very again, no video would be made if somebody did that.
Grace:No video. Wanna point out what Cara Cara Cara just said being
Helen:on the
Grace:probable best retaliation. Now Cara. What I think Pete everyone says this to you. I don't I think you'll know that I don't agree with that. Like, I think great.
Grace:Being unbothered Helen's thing about read the room. Great. Love it. I do think it is fine for you to show, hey. This was effing rude, And I don't I don't tolerate it.
Helen:Not here for it. Yeah. I don't I don't Right.
Grace:You know, I we're this we've taught people that being we've we've and I'm just seeing this in the workplace so much, so I just really feel very strongly about it. We've, by being unbothered by all this stuff, we've taught people that they're not getting reactions when they're out of line, when they're rude, when they're arrogant. I had an I had an, situation in a grocery store three years ago when it was huge on TikTok that these kids were running around saying things to people that sounded that were sexual, and then they could make it sound like something else. So, basically, this group of 12 year old boys, I was walking by them. One yelled out this question to me that I'm not gonna be here.
Grace:And I because I'm from New York, looked at them and then just kept walking. And then he went, hey. I said, do you want some turkey? And I turned around and went, who the fuck do you think you're talking to? Like, how old do you think I am?
Grace:And I I I went to the store manager, and I was like, you have little boys running around here asking women this question. Like, get them the fuck out of your store. What are you doing? What? He was like this big old fat guy.
Grace:He was like, oh, maybe I'll see if I can go do it. I'm like, there's no consequences to people's actions, and this is such a problem. And so I feel strongly in my in my comments. My my cousin's a, charter school principal, and I asked him what he would have done in that situation. And he said, if that had been brought to me in my school, I would line up all the women who teach that kid, and I would have him say it to that phrase.
Grace:And I would have them give their normal natural reaction to him, however that that was so that he understands when you say something like that to a person, to a woman, this is the kind of reaction you're gonna get. It's not just this, like, Internet thing where it's all clipped and edited together, and it's very funny. But we're doing the same things to people in the comp. They say crazy shit, and everyone
Helen:letting them do it. Oh, yeah. So well, you know, you that might have just changed something in me. That's like another see, this is what happens whenever I meet with Grace. Like, I see your content, and I'm like, oh my god.
Helen:I'm not gonna let people just use my comment section now to state their opinion. So I've already that was a wake up call. And now I'm like, maybe I'm not gonna let them be rude and ignore it. It's
Grace:it's a you don't want it to take over your life. And I think that advice is like being unbothered. But but no. I mean, one is one is young people and a lot of a lot of the comments you see, these are 16, 18, 19, 20 one year olds. If you met them in real life and they were rude to you like this, there's a lot of, I like, very powerful woman I know from seeing this, like, here.
Grace:Mhmm. Wouldn't let it happen. You just Real
Helen:life. Right.
Grace:So I don't know why we're letting it happen in our comments.
Helen:Oh my god.
Grace:Right. If I
Helen:That's a no. But see, that's the takeaway that I needed. Because I was gonna say, like, what what's, like, one piece of overarching advice about how to not to take not to how to react or how not to take it personally over all the things. And you've kind of just told me that, which is going back to what would you do in real life? Like, what would you do in real life?
Helen:I mean, it's almost like, isn't that I use that so often when I'm like, how to respond to something and blah, blah, blah. And I'm like, well, what would I do in real life if that person came over my house and did that? I do that a lot. You know, I'll think about that a lot, but I've never really thought about it with the negativity in this way.
Grace:This person just asked, Mercury asked, how do you avoid to be milked for reactions? I think she what she's saying is what you were saying, and I don't wanna give that person airtime. What I will say is at my harshest, the video responses where I think, Grace, that was on the line a little. Like, people are not gonna like that. That's what gets most inbound from companies.
Grace:That is we get people's business. It's when people go, this is someone who is different, who is standing up for something she feels strongly about. I I I can I like like forecasting, you know, the the weather? I can tell you very clearly. This this will be a video that will get me good inbound.
Helen:Right. And I think that, Mercury, what when you're saying about avoid being milked for reactions, one way I do that is I don't let that person be known. I use that comment, but I don't let that person be known. And then sometimes I will forward it to them and like, you know, send them the video so that they see it.
Grace:But also what happens is
Helen:Then it's not calling them out and give them any attention, you know, like, oh, you know, because I've had a few where people have done reply videos to me doing something where I replied to them. It's weird.
Grace:I've had 100. I've had a many.
Helen:If I had that many, I don't know what I would do. I would sleep at night.
Grace:Many. No. I whatever. But I have, now one of them, this this oh, bothered the fuck out of me. Now I use her videos when I talk about, like, bad Internet advice.
Helen:So Oh. Oh.
Grace:And I show it on big stages. Anyway, what what I was gonna say to Mercury was I I think you have to think bigger than the little reactions. So you have to you can be like, oh, I don't want this person to win. Well, what if it's not about this person winning and getting likes? What if it's about you getting a $5,000 contract?
Helen:Oh, yes.
Grace:Whether they win or get likes. It doesn't matter. So so that's always what I'm I'm always the bigger picture.
Helen:Bigger picture. Yeah. Right. Because in the end, how does this benefit you, which is you're putting yourself out there and you are now inviting a potential. Just the fact that you're getting business from those, that's really, really telling.
Grace:Most often. I get that business. Who just said Cara said she figured brands and collaborators wouldn't wanna work with her. I have several brand partners. And I well, I say at the beginning, listen.
Grace:You're not gonna like stuff I say. You might not like the way I say it. And they're all like, we don't care. Do you?
Helen:But it also depends because Cara Cara, has, like, dog content. So she may wanna get, like, dog collab like, collaborations with, create like, some brands. And so they don't like
Grace:to have I
Helen:work with Chewy. You oh, okay. There you go.
Grace:No. No. I I get what you're saying. I think you decide you're gonna you decide you're gonna play that way to be safe or you decide you're gonna do what you're gonna do. And both paths are completely fine.
Helen:They are completely fine because you can you don't have to just like people will come into my comments and say, well, what's your position on this? And, you know, you have a big account. Like, I have no I don't owe anybody my position on anything, honestly. You know, I know what my I know my positions on things and I know how I feel about things. But there's often things like I don't feel like You know, my husband doesn't want to be on the Internet, so I don't bring him into my content.
Helen:Am I gonna, like, people holding that against me? Like, leave me alone. I don't know. I'm here for what I'm here for. And that's my decision, not my followers or my commenters decision.
Helen:Right? You know?
Grace:Well, Helen, it's so true. I love to hear you say it though, because sometimes I I you've sometimes I feel like you're too nice to everyone.
Helen:I am too nice.
Grace:But it is no. No. No. It is. It's your decision.
Grace:And I have people come in and say, well, this is starting to lean really conservative. And so I did a video where I said, listen to me very carefully. You will not see my politics on this page because I do not care to share my politics with you. I don't feel obligated. I don't owe you.
Grace:And if something's feeling away, then fucking keep scrolling. I don't care. I'm not going to be cowed into telling you things about myself that I don't wish to share. And it's not part of it. It just isn't part of it.
Grace:So It's not
Helen:part of what makes you an expert at what you do. Yeah. It really isn't. You know? And I know we can talk about that for days in a whole separate podcast about it.
Helen:But to me, it's like human decency and the things I stand for are who I am. And I I just don't feel like I have to, prove it to anybody by saying anything in a certain way, one way or the other. I like, I wanna always have my content be the things that I'm excited to share about and excited to talk about. And that's how I feel. So you can feel differently because it's just good.
Helen:Like, I just
Grace:Can I ask or so are the folks in this chat and in the studio, is this more of, like, a, 30 audience? Is it younger? Is it
Helen:to me, I'm gonna say, knowing off the top quickly, 40, but I don't know a few people personally here. But and, and, Kara, you're young. You're young. At least you seem young.
Grace:So I think the benefit
Helen:I don't know. I know everybody.
Grace:Oh, oh, you guys. Okay. So I think the benefit of being 30
Helen:Great. See, 40 Yes,
Grace:You you do care just a little bit less of what other people think.
Helen:Yes. Amazing. That's so true.
Grace:You are the most well placed 100.
Helen:I first of all, I love that we just got to see this because see seeing how people's ages are. Because I never know. I don't associate age with people a lot of times. Of course, Emily, you're young. I've see you I see your skin.
Helen:It's beautiful. It's so funny to see now, like, how old people are. I've never even thought about it. And Louise, you're such a baby. Love you.
Helen:I don't even know Louise yet, but I'm going to, I think.
Grace:I think Louise is in my I think I've seen Louise come on my stuff. I think Louise Louise
Helen:needs to come into the studio. We need to get you in the group.
Grace:Yeah. We
Helen:need to get you in the mix. It's so much fun.
Grace:Well, I think the the mix. Yeah. You are in my group, Louise. Yeah. I've seen you.
Grace:Okay. Thank you, Louise. I think that it is so critical to be building something alongside other people who are building the same thing. It is so critical and crucial that you have other people who you can turn to and go, this just happened. So, basically, I have a, informal social group.
Grace:It's not the studio. But I have people who are building similar levels to me, and I sent them a text last night with a message saying, about the girl who asked me to take something down. Like, has this come up for anyone? Can you guys help me think through this?
Helen:Wow. See? That's so important. Oh, my gosh.
Grace:Do you is that something you guys can
Helen:So we're gonna it's so funny that you say this, because we're gonna start a WhatsApp group so that we can have a chat. And that's happening this weekend. I told Julie, I wanna work on it this weekend, because I wanna make sure everybody has time. And it's not like in the middle of the work week, and they're panicking, getting a WhatsApp message and they don't know what to do. So I'm gonna I'm gonna release it on the weekend.
Helen:But that is what I'm looking forward to. Because I do think being able to bounce things off and seeing what other how other people would handle something is huge. Because what I'm doing right now is giving the advice on the things that people are asking me privately, and then I'm making posts about it. But it's not you know, they're not able to pull the other people. So this is really gonna be important.
Helen:I'm so proud.
Grace:I might have Julie get me a backdoor into that WhatsApp.
Helen:Yeah. Yeah. You're gonna enter the WhatsApp group. We need we need you in the group.
Grace:I think I you know, and it's what what happens then too is, like, something that's living in your brain so crazily. You show it to a friend of yours who knows your content, and they go, don't respond to this loser. Who cares?
Helen:Right. Right. Right.
Grace:You know what? You're right. I'll let that one go today.
Helen:Right. Yeah. Yeah. I think that's a % true. I thought that might happen in the studio in the feed, but it's not like as as intuitive as Facebook.
Helen:Because, you know, when you belong to a Facebook group and somebody posts something, what would you do? And then you could see all the comments of what they would do. I wanted it to be something like that, but I don't think the Nas platform is really delivering on that for me. So that's why I think the WhatsApp group is gonna do it. It's gonna I think it's gonna make us more connected on topics.
Helen:It'll be easier. So I'm sure hoping. I I'm I'm just loving it. Go ahead.
Grace:For people. But I also think it's so helpful to have someone who who has literally chopped the path down. Like, edutainment, Helen, was not a thing when you started. No. It really wasn't.
Grace:And now edutainment's only going to really hit like it is not
Helen:Edutainment. Edutainment. Yeah. Just making sure
Grace:that's been added to So No.
Helen:It's not.
Grace:You guys all doing it's mostly entertainment content I can see from
Helen:sort of It seems like it. Yeah. It seems like that's what it is. Because, I I mean, I just love for me, it's like, I want everybody to flourish and and, like, up their game by the support of each other and also support each other. Like, being able to that's why the WhatsApp group will be able to put links and everybody can go see each other's videos more quickly.
Helen:So that's the idea. So you can, like, click. You can put your link. Like, hey. I did the challenge.
Helen:Pop the link in there. And then it's quick, easy access for everybody to see each other's content and support it.
Grace:But I and I think the best use of you, Helen, is not this is from someone who's been using Helen as my personal studio master for for years.
Helen:Okay.
Grace:The best use is not the logistical tactical stuff. The how do I do this? The what's this button that is like, I don't think that's a good use
Helen:of her
Grace:time personally. I think it's going the this this, my god. The strategic, the, like, this happened. How do I think about it this way? Because I'm telling you, anything you guys have come up with, Helen has seen it a hundred times.
Grace:Yeah. Canoe coming onto your plate. She's seen it a thousand times. So and this is for this is for also people who are listening, who follow Helen. When you she answers comments.
Grace:She answer as you as we just talked about. So a really good use of her, this is from someone who's now built with a lot of her help, is how do I think about this? How can I think about this? How can I approach this? Because I guarantee you, she will say it's gonna go this way or this way or this way, and here's how I do it.
Helen:Okay. Amazing. You're the best. Thank you, Grace. Alright.
Helen:I want I think we should wrap it up because we're a little even over the hour. Normally, I keep my podcasts to, like, twenty to thirty minutes, so I'm happy that but, no, I wanted to do a nice hour one today, though. This was planned to be an hour. I wanted to keep it and make sure we cover all the topics. I wanted to get all the learning from you.
Helen:I've had so much fun having you here and just, you know, we have to get together in IRL very soon.
Grace:We will.
Helen:I celebrated with Grace when she did her when how people have baby showers and bridal showers, and she had a work shower when she launched her business. And it was epic. It was so much fun. I met so many great people. I think more people need to do new new business showers.
Helen:I love it.
Grace:I I couldn't agree more.
Helen:That was really good.
Grace:I'm sorry. I think I progressively just got more and more comfortable with cursing over the course of the episode, so I apologize.
Helen:I'm good with that. I I do that all the time. As a matter of fact, sometimes when people hear me either in a one on one and I start, like, going they're like, oh, we never hear you curse on your content. I'm like, I don't curse in my videos, but in in real life, you know? Sorry.
Grace:You're a new you're It's
Helen:real life. I live in New York. Yes.
Grace:Oh, Emily said don't worry. Thank you. Thank you guys so much for being a part of this conversation.
Helen:Yeah. Thank you so much today. This has been great. I want to do this again. We'll maybe we'll maybe do a follow-up and I'll have you back, but thank you for being here with me today and everybody have a great weekend and I'll see you next Tuesday.
Helen:Bye. Thank you. I'm gonna stop recording.
